Water from the Moon
by ifiknowyouatall
Summary: Water from the moon: From an Indonesian saying that "means that which is unattainable, impossible, that which one can never have." -Linda Hunt This is a collection of unrelated short scenes and one-shots. There are various combinations of characters, but mainly Densi and Nell/Deeks friendship, with an occasional Nell-centric one-shot. Chapters 30-32 are new.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The characters/show don't belong to me, in case there was any confusion. This will be a story of very short snapshots into the NCIS: LA universe, most will be passed on prompts I've received over on Tumblr. First prompt credit: hermionesmydawg

"So, what exactly am I supposed to do with this?" he asked.

"'This' is a baby, G, and you hold her until social services shows up." Sam said, laughing at the ever increasing level of discomfort at the infant in his arms and by the increasing volume of her cries, the discomfort was mutual.

"Can't you take her? You have kids." The senior agent whined at his partner when he heard the tell-tale click of a camera phone.

"Deeks! If you're free enough to take pictures, you're free enough to take the kid." Callen didn't even wait for an answer, just passed off the baby.

"I was just trying to document the moment. Classic Three-Men-And-A-Baby. I call the Tom Selleck character..."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Characters are still not mine. Prompt credit Aprylynn

"You're an idiot, you know that?" She said as she opened her door.

"Yes, an idiot in love." He countered as he used the railing of her apartment landing to keep himself partially upright.

"While that may true, right now you're just a drunk idiot. How'd you even get here?" The redhead asked as she poked her head out the door, looking for his car in the parking lot.

"Cab." He said puffing out his chest with pride at what he clearly thought was fantastic decision making ability.

"Let's get you set up on the couch before you lose the ability to walk." She put her arm around his waist and led him to the couch that already had blankets and a pillow laid out. She'd been anticipating tonight. Valentine's Day would have been just any other day, but it had been a month since Deeks had had contact with Kensi and a week since she'd gone entirely radio silent. Red hearts and romance plastered everywhere had just been the last straw.

"You're a great partner and friend, you know that Velma?" He slurred; his eyes closing before his head hit the pillow.

"Yeah, Shaggy, I know." She patted his cheek and put a glass of water and two aspirin on the coffee table before turning in for the night, hoping that sometime soon she'd be able to relinquish one of those titles.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Still not mine. Prompt credit: hermionesmydawg

Oh man, that would taste really good in my mouth." Desire and a little bit of desperation in her tone as she pleaded.

Agent Sam Hanna looked at his partner as they made their way into the mission, hearing their other coworker's suggestive request. His eyebrows raised a nearly imperceptible amount as he paused slightly before rounding the corner.

"I mean, I get it. She just got back, but seriously Deeks, you have to learn to control yourself." His voice louder than normal to make his presence known, but his tone gave away the light hearted teasing nature of the comment. They were all glad to have Kensi back.

"I'm sorry. I need to control myself?" Not even flinching, he slowly turned around, keeping his eyes on his partner, who was kneeling on the floor in front of him, until the last minute when he tossed a plastic wrapped pastry at Sam.

"He dropped it on the floor." Kensi offered weakly, standing up. "I couldn't let it go to waste."

"Just keep it out of the office you two." Callen scolded as Eric whistled them up to Ops, leaving Kensi to sputter defenses of her professionalism while Deeks and Sam followed

"It's good to have the band back together."


	4. Chapter 4

_This is a story of pure speculation, based on the recent press release that Callen/Sam/Deeks would face one of their most dangerous missions in upcoming episodes._

Conversations while traveling in the bed of a cargo plane remained nearly impossible. The combination of the engines and the ear protection required shouting just hear basic instructions. The constant noise was supposed to provide him cover. He'd slipped out of his seat next to his two teammates as they'd closed their eyes. Hunched in a corner of the plane's hold, his body shook with silent sobs.

Keeping everything together from the point he'd heard the struggle on the other end of the satellite phone, through the hasty planning of the rescue mission to the point of getting on the plane to fly half way across the world, had sapped him of his strength. He knew that when he'd landed, he'd have to put on his brave face again. The façade allowed him to participate in the rescue of his colleague, his partner and kept his focus on the tactical aspects of the mission.

He left his seat to find a secluded section of the plane to scroll through photos on his phone without disturbing those trying to get some rest. When the tears started slipping down his cheeks, he surprised even himself. He could count on a single hand the times he'd cried in his life. That wasn't his modus operandi, not even as a kid. He took pride in not letting the tragedy of his life dictate his behavior. A child of abuse, yes, but he didn't let that define him, or his responses to the actions of others, as an adult. Never a fan of self-pity, he preferred to shoulder burdens with lightness and humor and punished himself when he failed to do that. Yet, here he was in the back of a military plane sobbing like a small child, silently asking the ether –why me?

No one came to disturb him and he had managed to gather himself - back in his seat and eyes dry long before the plane landed. The small team was met by Granger at the airfield and taken back to the base of operations that had housed Kensi for three months. Granger assured them that they had pinpointed Kensi's location and the extraction would take place under the cover of darkness and that the three of them should get rest while they still could, pointing them to the bunk area.

For a military brat, it still amazed him that she lived her life in such state of outward clutter. But that had made finding the bunk that had been hers much easier. Resting his head against a pillow that still smelled like her, he inhaled deeply and pushed back the tears that threatened again. He wouldn't allow himself the luxury twice in one day. Closing his eyes, he focused on his breathing, but relaxation would have to wait as an added weight caused the far edge of the bunk to sink.

"Deeks, I know you're not asleep."

"Not gonna be Sam if you insist on sharing the bunk with me." The lame attempt of a joke did not deter the senior agent.

"Where's your head at Deeks? I know you told Hetty you had this, but you've been withdrawn since we got on the plane." The blond man sat up, ready to defend his actions.

"I understand where you're coming from and I've told you this before, you're not alone. I just need to make sure that you're going to follow training and protocol tonight. As emotional as this is for all of us, we need to trust our training on this. As your teammate and friend, its ok if you sit this one out."

"Not gonna happen Sam. I'll be the first one through the door." Sam tilted his head as if to say 'that's what I'm worried about.' "Or the third, wherever I am in the line-up. I'll follow protocol and I'll follow training. I've done nothing in the last 48 hours to indicate otherwise."

"Good." Squeezing the younger man's shoulder, he rose from the bed, making his way to the door, hesitating at the exit and turning back. "I saw you on the plane, Deeks, that's the only reason I'm asking. Outwardly, yes, you've been nothing but professional, but if you're questioning anything about this operation, we can't afford that risk."

"_We _can't afford that risk? _I _can't afford that risk. I know that we all care about Kensi but it is my next fifty years we're talking about. And yeah, I'm terrified that instead, all I'm going to get is one night." Anger, another emotion that he'd kept at bay for the majority of his adult life, bubbling to the surface. "I know my role, I know the risks. Believe me."

Not waiting for acknowledgement, he turned from the door, buried his face in her pillow and waited for darkness to fall.


	5. Chapter 5

_Post ep for War Cries, Deeks/Nell friendship...characters still don't belong to me._

"I always carry a knife." Kensi had told her, almost as a throwaway comment one night at drinks, not long after the Inman case.

The more diminutive redhead had simply nodded in response, filing that information away for later. When she starting going out into the field on a more regular basis, she had started slipping a knife in her boot as part of her daily routine. Her friend had played a part in saving her life today, even if she was thousands of miles away. Nell hoped she would never have to return the favor, but as she'd expressed to Eric earlier today, she had a sneaking suspicion Kensi would need their help sooner rather than later.

Eric...now there was a complicated situation she didn't have the energy to analyze tonight. They were standing on the edge of something that could potentially be great and clearly he cared for her, but on days like today, when one foot was hovering off the edge of the proverbial cliff, some unknown force always pulled her back. But she didn't have time to dwell on that tonight, as she approached the apartment steps, grey sweatshirt in hand. She had 'Deeks duty' tonight.

After Kensi left, she and Eric established a routine where one or the other would 'spontaneously' check on their friend and coworker. Knowing how much time the two partners had spent together off hours (even before the last, still-unconfirmed development) Nell and Eric sought to fill some of the void as best they could.

And it's not like it was a chore. It was easy to see why even hardened Kensi had fallen for this man. Although, he was firmly establishing himself in big-brother territory for her. She played with the tassels of the sweatshirt as she waited for him to answer her knock on the door. She remembered that afternoon, when he had wordlessly taken off the sweatshirt, wrapping it around her shoulders to ward off the shivers of minor shock setting in. It had been as if one of her actual brothers had been there. He had rubbed her arms quickly as he did this in a clumsy, sweet effort to warm her up. Two Christmases ago, she had told Eric with tears in her eyes that these people they worked with became their family and that was still true. And she was surprised, although perhaps she shouldn't have been, that this was the truest for her with the LAPD liaison. She knew, that even after they were done being partners, even if one of them left OSP, these last months had made him her brother.

Startled from her introspection by two kids riding by on bikes and laughing, she realized that she'd been standing on the stoop far longer than she should have been. She could see the blinking lights of the TV and could see some slight movement on the couch, so she knew he was home. She knocked again and waited two minutes before picking the lock and letting herself in.

"I came to return your sweatshirt." Nell opened lamely, taking in the semi-defeated stance of her temporary partner, hunched over, twirling something in his hands. Not looking up to acknowledge her, he began to speak.

"What is it about NCIS women? Do they not teach you to respect a locked door at the academy?" His tone wasn't angry, more resigned and rejected. Nell placed the sweatshirt over the arm of a chair and gingerly sat down next to Deeks.

"What do you have there?" She asked cautiously, not sure if she was going to get shut down or if the flood gates would open - both had happened over the course of the past several months.

"Kensi's dad's knife." Shirt, staccato response. Looked like she'd be doing most of the talking this evening.

"Wow. That's...that's really special coming from Kensi. You know how she is about her knives. Careful you don't let too many people see that, you two might start a rumor." He barely cracked a smile. Tongue in cheek humor would not be diffusing the situation tonight.

"You know, it was Kensi that got me to start carrying a knife. So in a way, it was Kensi that saved me today." Praising Kensi's abilities, simply talking about Kensi, had worked in the past to cheer Deeks up, but not tonight. He gently set down the knife, sitting up slowly and turning to face Nell.

"Who's going to save her?" The intensity with which his tear-filled eyes met hers nearly made Nell look away, but she mustered up all her strength and bravado.

"We will. If she needs it, we'll find a way." Rubbing his arm, much in the way he had done with her earlier today. There was no elaboration, no effort to come with a plan, just the reassurance that even if she was over there by herself, she was not alone. The two sat in silence for a little bit before slipping into their comfortable routine of chips and beer and making fun of both the tactical and technical inaccuracies of procedural crime dramas.

As she shut the door behind her, heading home for the evening, her mind slipped back to that night with Kensi at the bar and what Kensi had said following her advice about the knife.

"Haven't really had to use it much since I was partnered with Deeks. Don't tell him I said this, his ego's too big already, but I'd take Deeks over any other kind of back up, any day." Nell smiled, remember the blush that had crept into her friend's cheeks when she had said that. This family, they backed each other up, better than any weapon, no matter the miles.


	6. Ain't No Sunshine

_This drabble is for Aprylynn, who requested on where Kensi hounds Granger for information on Deeks, Post-War Cries. Hope you like it. The characters don't belong to me either._

Granger didn't claim to understand the enigma that was Henrietta Lange, but never before had he doubted her motivations. A week's observation and he still didn't know. The team was solid; Jones held her own in the field, as she had before. Deeks, as obnoxious as ever, could function competently without the woman he'd left in Afghanistan. But he'd proven that last year, however reluctantly, and the year before that too. The cop's position on the team was as secure as if he were an agent as far as Granger was concerned, no matter how obnoxious he found Deeks, but he thought he had sensed Hetty's reluctance on the matter. That left him a bit off-kilter, Granger could usually see the same board as Hetty, but now he couldn't help but feel that there was an important piece of information that he was missing and when the board toppled over because if it, it would be him picking up the pieces. Boarding the uncomfortable military flight back to the uncomfortable base to fulfill an uncomfortable mission he wasn't fully privy to left him in a state of, well, discomfort.

Not on base for five minutes after her last patrol, Kensi had found her way over to where Granger was trying to eat some semblence of a dinner.

"Where were you?" Kensi demanded, a bit of anger in her voice.

"Need to know Agent Blye."

"And I don't need to know, right? But we both know I already do. At least tell me how he is?...they are? Can you tell me how everyone is?" Clumsily tripping over her words, she equally clumsily moved from the bench across to him and sat herself next to him.

"How who is, Blye?" Not even looking up for his food.

"Ok, so that's how it's going be?" Perhaps a different tactic was in order. Switching topics, "Booker's like the opposite of funny. Did you know that? Deeks used to say that I had no sense of humor, can you imagine if he met Booker? God, I'd pay money for that show. He'd probably open with something about the fridge. We could totally pull our Queen of England, Margaret Thatcher routines. Corgis can make anyone laugh. Maybe we could get a good round of gun twister going..."

The change in Granger's chewing and breathing patterns was slight, but Kensi had been staring at him for any kind reaction and she had it, so she continued pushing.

"Gun twister is a great game. Have you ever played? Deeks invented it on one really boring case we did as a favor for LAPD. You get the perp to kneel and then you get him, well, you get the picture. Deeks got one poor guy to pat his head and rub his belly. It was hysterical."

"Blye. I just got done with days of your partner's incessant babble. Do you think you could spare me the encore?"

"I will if you tell me how he is."

"I thought you were in touch with the OSP team."

"Not really." Kensi hedged. "And you got to see them. How'd he look?"

"I am not, I repeat, not having this conversation with you."

"It's just that his birthday was a couple of weeks ago and I got him this new sweater, and I was kind of going out on a limb, it's not what he normally wears, but I saw the color and it reminded me of his eyes."

"Blye, is there any part of my appearance that reminds you of Miss Jones?" Dinner was complete, but Granger made no effort to move, much to Kensi's surprise.

"No sir, it's just that, well, I miss him. I miss all of them, but, well, he's my partner and I worry that no one will listen to his ramblings or laugh at his jokes and he might get depressed. If no one has his back..."

Granger, despite his rough exterior, was not an inherently cruel man, and this was Donny Blye's little girl, the one that he remembered from team picnics, the one that only reappeared in the precense of a blond detective. She was distracted from her present task by his absence and he, laser focused on protecting her, instead of the mission. Perhaps he understood a bit of Henrietta's motivation now, and he had a sneaking suspicion Lange had already realized just how badly her  
plan to refocus her team had backfired.

"I had his back this week."

Her mouth more than slightly resembled a fish's at this revelation. "Did he ask about me?" Waiting as if her life depended on it, no longer caring what Granger saw.

While the expression on Granger's face didn't change, he was a bit shocked at the utter cluelessness of the pair. "Yes. I told him you were good." Kensi's face fell, not really expecting more, but disappointed just the same.

"And I'll tell you the same, your ifriend/i is doing good. Concerned for your well being, a concern that is clearly reciprocated, but he's ok Kensi." And with that, Granger stood up to leave.

A small smile on her face, Kensj retreated immediately to her bunk and went straight for her sat phone and punched the first number on speed dial.

"Hello Sunshine."

"Hi there...wait, sunshine? Have you been talking to Nell?"

"Why would you ask that? I thought Sunshine was our thing...unless you've been talking to Nell." The smile on her face growing wider by the second. He sounded good.

Granger, in his on secluded corner had a sneaking suspicion that there was more communication between the partners, friends, whatever, then anyone was letting on. What he couldn't figure out was if Gorgon knew and approved and what her motivation was for sending Blye in the first place. It had to be more than two partners getting too close and as long as he remained in the dark, this mission remained infinitely more dangerous.


	7. I Never Thought

Thought of this drabble idea when I was talking to hermionesmydawg about what a believable 'Nallen' scenario would look like. This isn't what I typically write, but I'm trying it on for size. The characters don't belong to me.

* * *

"_Losing you was the last thing on my mind. It's not black and white, it's shades of grey and in the blink of an eye it slips away...I never thought you wouldn't be mine." -Emily Taylor Adams_

* * *

Ground zero. That's where she was standing right now - on his doorstep, feeling a bit like Atlas. The magnitude of the situation making the fist she had made to knock on the door as heavy as a wrecking ball and she couldn't lift it the necessary six inches to make her presense known. This was more than just of the piece of information she was there to deliver; it was the only answer he'd ever really wanted. And the quest to find it and for redemption from it had finally fractured their makeshift family.

Deeks and Kensi had bowed out early, and it rather spectacular fashion. After the news of Janvier's escape, Callen had questioned Kensi's loyalty when she had balked slightly at a hastily planned, cross-continent chase for a man they had put in prison four years previously. She had expected Deeks to come to Kensi's defense, but not with a raised and strained voice. 'They'd followed him to the ends of the earth, they'd done so blindly and without question', he'd yelled. 'How dare Callen question her for simply wanting to pause before yet another wild goose chase for his own personal vendetta,' Deeks had spat through clenched teeth. Turning on his heel, he'd left the room. Kensi had followed shortly after, one hand remained on her stomach while the other briefly touched Callen's cheek, as if to silently say, "I'm sorry, but this isn't the most important thing to us anymore."

And that was the last the team had seen of the pair, and that was three weeks ago. With Sam, Eric, Hetty and Granger, the had tracked Janvier down again. But the plan was hasty and things went wrong and they lost Hetty. A tear escaped her eye just thinking of it. When the dust had settled, she found herself in possession of a key to a safety deposit box and instructions to go through its contents alone. There hadn't been much, most of which she'd still need to work to decode. But the yellowed, frayed birth certificate needed no cypher.

Yuri. His name was Yuri. Named for his grandfather, in his father's native tongue. Yuri Callen Resnikov. He was the last; there was no family left to find but at least now he'd know. Knocking lightly, she shifted from foot to foot until her teammate, her friend, opened the door to the only building he'd ever been able to call home.

In silence he gestured for her to come in. The starkness of the house he'd lived in for the better part of a decade still astonished her, a couple of chairs, a folding table and what looked to maybe be a bed in the shadows of the opened back bedroom. Handing him the manilla envelope that held his identity, her old nervous habit kicked in.

"I don't know why she kept it our how long she had it. It was just sitting in a safety deposit box. A dug a little more, I'm so sorry Callen, there are no living relatives. I'm sure she had her reasons..."

"Nell..." And he didn't finish his thought and his hands were on her face and his eyes, filled with tears were staring into hers and then he was kissing her and she was kissing back. And in a frenzy of flying clothing and pent up emotions from the last three weeks, the last thirty years, the relief of finally knowing and the process of grieving a person you were more than a little mad at, they both found a release in each other.

There was a bed in the back bedroom and the panicked initial encounter had been followed by a slower, almost healing one. But in the morning light, the gravity of the situation hit her as she collected her belongs and attempted to sneak out of the house. She was not Hetty, no matter how much she'd been groomed for the role. She did not play with people's emotions like they were chess pieces. She'd technically done nothing wrong and she didn't wear another man's ring, but this wasn't how this was supposed to happen.

And in the end, she'd lost what she'd been trying to give back to Callen that night. While he never asked, and she never told, Eric knew something had changed. His eager pursuits stopped and slowly they began to drift apart. He had always been her constant, her sure thing to come back to and then he was just gone. She never thought he'd leave until he did. And while she didn't blame either man, in giving Callen back his identity, she had lost a piece of her own. She was alone. Maybe she would become Hetty after all.


	8. Polar Express

_Three different prompts from littlemartys, aprylynn, and hermionesmydawg came together for a who story :). I love it when a plan comes together :). Characters still aren't mine :(._

* * *

"It's way more complicated then that. It has to be. There is no way it's that simple." The brunette ran a hand through her hair, frustrated.

"Hate to tell you, Kensi, but it is." The redhead entered from the kitchen, carrying two freshly-filled glasses of wine, smiling at her friend who was glaring at crumbled directions written in thirteen different languages, six of which she spoke. "You just have to make sure all the joints are lined up so they lock to support the weight of the train."

"Remind me again why I thought it would be a good idea to make this Christmas gift a surprise?"

* * *

He reached behind him, ready to grab his gun if he needed it. The door to his apartment was slightly ajar, and he certainly hadn't left that many lights on when he'd left for work that morning, nearly 16 hours ago. He also didn't hear Monty's typical welcoming barks. As he prepared to draw his gun, he heard a distinctly feminine peal of laughter followed by a distinctly unfeminine snort.

Putting some of the pieces together, he felt comfortable pulling his shirt back down, covering his gun, and slowly pushed the door open.

Sitting on the floor of his living room next to a half built vintage train track, a couple bottles (which he would bet were close to empty) of wine, were his partner and her best friend.

"Ladies, do you want to explain this? Or do I need charge you with breaking and entering and petty larceny?"

Nell, who was facing the door, put her hand to her mouth to unsuccessfully stifle her giggles while Kensi slowly turned around, eyes wide like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

"You were supposed to be out with Callen and Sam. Why are you back so early?" She asked as she clumsily tried to hide pieces of train track.

"It's after eleven and Sam's daughter has a soccer game tomorrow. Let's get you to bed and you can explain this," his hand motioning to the aftermath of what had appeared to be a tornado hitting his living room, "tomorrow." Offering a hand to help her up, he gently pushed her in the direction of the bedroom.

"Nell, you're welcome to the couch or I can call you a cab or an Eric."

"Eric. I can manage to call Eric." As Nell fumbled with her cell phone, he sent a quick text to the tech just in case and went to the bedroom to make sure Kensi drank at least a little water before she passed out.

* * *

"I swear, if you don't stop I'll kick you out of bed and make you sleep on the floor." Her head was pounding and she definitely didn't want to get out of bed. She really just wanted to close her eyes and go back to sleep.

"But it's my bed. Pretty sure you don't get to kick me out unless it's your bed or our bed." And then she felt it again, the feeling that had woken her up initially.

"Ugh, Deeks, is that a train? My spine is not a train track."

"My track, at least I'm assuming it's my track, hasn't been put together, so I was improvising."

"Please, can you go be five years old somewhere else. Just let me sleep for a couple more hours and then, then I'll be ready to tackle that demon contraption again."

Sitting up, he kissed her cheek and smoothed her hair. He pulled the curtains shut to keep the morning light out and shut the door.

Several hours later, she stumbled out of the bedroom in one of his LAPD T-shirts, bleary eyed, hair in knots. She walked wordless to the kitchen and poured herself a mug of still hot coffee.

Taking the first few sips, she leaned against the corner of the wall connecting the kitchen to the den and just watched. There, sitting in the middle of a completed train track watching a train travel smoothly in a circle, through tunnels and all the other features that had taunted her last night, was her partner. Looking on, she thought she got a glimpse of the ten year old he never got to be. Walking over, she set her mug on the coffee table, kissed his head and sat next to him.

"Tell me the secret, how'd you get it all together and working?"

"Less wine."


	9. Chapter 9

_Prompt credit hermionesmydawg. Characters still aren't mine._

"Wow, that's a really big gun; you think you can handle it?" He heard her over coms, voice slightly higher than normal, completely convincing in her apprehension at the shooting range.

"Kensi's going to have some competition when she gets back." She could hear Deeks' running commentary in her ear. Trying not to react, she remained focused on the task at hand.

"So, do I have to close one eye like they do in the movies?" Lifting the hand gun tentatively.

"Here let me show you?" The smarmy range operator stood close behind her, running his hands up her arms before laying the over hers and guiding the gun to point straight ahead. Her skin crawled and she had to will her body not to shudder. This was by far her least favorite part of the job.

"Kensi hates it too. She just pretends it's me." Nell had to cover her snort as a sneeze. "I mean she never actually told me that, but I'm pretty sure she pretended it was me, I mean who wouldn't? Not that you have to, but you could pretend it's Beale or something."

Nell kept the act up long enough to get the suspect to let her into the back room so she could get the information off the computer. Getting into the passenger's seat, she held up the flash drive, her body language a mix of pride and exhaustion.

"The running commentary? That always a thing?" She may have sounded annoyed, but it had helped and she would tell him that later when they sat down to review the op, something they had started doing after each case so she could continue to improve her field skills.

"Can't handle it, Jones?" He teased back.

"Nah, I can take it. It's just that Kensi's pharmacy-sized stash of Advil now makes a lot more sense."

"Touché, Velma. Touché."


	10. Chapter 10

_Not mine, they belong to Shane Brennan and CBS and other people...prompt credit to hermionesmydawg._

* * *

"Saving the world and looking good doing it." Shaking his blond bangs out of his eyes as he pinned the suspect to the ground, waiting for his partner to come over once she finished zip tying the wrists of the other suspects they had in custody.

Kensi, a smile on her face as she approached his side if the room, Deeks started talking to the suspect again.

"Pretty lady's gonna come over here and tie you up. And while I'm sure that's something you've always fantasized about, she's way out of your league. Hello, sugarbear, fancy seeing you here. Kinda wish we didn't have the company come to think of it. You wanna go ahead and take care of him, hand him off to Sam," Deeks tightened his grip and leaned in to whisper in the suspect's ear, "He's the kind of husky guy you really don't want to piss off." Turning his attention back to his partner, who had by now firmly secured the zip tie around the suspect's wrists. "All yours, my sweet."

"My sweet? Seriously? We're back to that?"

"Well, it had been 4 years, and despite all the evidence to the contrary, I don't have an endless vocabulary. Anyway, I thought it was romantic bringing it back." The suspect chose that moment to try and make a break for it and Deeks slammed him against the wall.

"Clearly he's not a rom-com fan. Zero appreciation for the art of banter." Deeks joked.

"God, I love you." Kensi chuckled with her partner as he started moving the suspect toward the waiting police cars, at least until she ran into Deeks' back as he stopped abruptly.

"I'm sorry, what?"


	11. Chapter 11

_The characters...Not mine._

* * *

As they lay naked in each other's arms, content to stare at the other, after far too many months and far too many miles between them. She brought her hand to his right cheek and slowly traced her fingers down his jaw line, opening her mouth to speak when he cut her off.

"Don't." He said quietly, "Just don't. I don't need the words. Show me. Show me it was the anomaly and that it'll never happen again. Don't tell me you're sorry, continue to show me you love me and that'll be enough. You're already off to a good start." He smirked unseen into her hairline. "You were already off to a pretty good start when you had to leave. If you can still do that, I can take it."

"But you shouldn't have to take it. I shouldn't get to be in your arms now, I don't get to deserve this. Not with what you've been through."

"I don't let it define me. Please don't let it define what I am to you."

Making sure she was looking into his eyes when she said her next words.

"I will spend the rest of my life showing you just how sor..." He cut her off with a kiss.

"Sounds good, I'll put it on the tab with all those beers you owe me."


	12. Chapter 12

_I do love the Deeks/Nell friendship...sadly the characters aren't mine. prompt belongs to hermionesmydawg._

* * *

She anticipated the fist coming at her face and deflected it, raising her hands in a defensive stance.

"Good. Good. Reset your stance, keep your feet moving, eyes forward." A couple more series and they were both reaching for water.

"I think that's enough for today, Nell. You did well, I think the student is quickly becoming the master. You should probably start working with Kensi, that's about all I've got from a technical standpoint. The rest I learned on the street."

"I don't need to learn from Kensi; book smarts I've got. You've always been the best about teaching me field work anyway." He heard the somber tone in her voice. Wiping his face with a towel he squatted down in front of the bench she was sitting on.

"Everything ok Nelly-bean?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I'm just being stupid."

"Yeah, I think fine means the same thing for you as it does for Kensi. Tell Uncle Marty what's wrong."

A little snort of laughter escaped as she too wiped her face with a towel, a stray tear leaving with the sweat.

"It's just that Kensi gets back next week, and you won't need your back-up partner. And I'm glad to have her back, don't get me wrong, but it's just that I've changed over the past couple months and I feel like I have more to offer now then just going back to ops. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just that I've worked so hard to get good in the field. You've put so much effort in getting me up to speed, training extra with me, walking through after action reports with me, all while missing Kensi and figuring out that she needed us. It's just that all the hard work is going to go to waste."

"Breathe Nell. It's not going to go to waste. First off, I'm not the only one who was multitasking in these past couple months. You got yourself to this point and it's not going to go to waste. There's no hard and fast rule that the field team has to be four people. We have an extra gun in our arsenal now. That makes all of us better. Callen knows that. Hetty knows that. Yeah, Kensi's coming back next week, but it's not going to be a reset button to before she left. It can't for so many reasons, and you're one of them." He messed up her hair and patted her arm as he stood.

"Besides, we're Shaggy and Velma. You're my running buddy on one random day a week. You're the sparring partner who let's me win, let's me drive, let's me pick the music. Yes, the partnership Kensi and I have is special, but so is our partnership, Nell. You're my little sister and I've never had a sibling before, so I'm not going to trade that for anything."

She smiled and nodded slightly but surely. She had big brothers to spare, but she'd take one more.


	13. Chapter 13

_This is a sequel/follow-up to chapter 4 of Snapshots. Characters still don't belong to me._

* * *

_"If I know you at all, I know you've gone too far. So I, I can't look at the stars." -Grace Potter_

There had been no sleep as he'd waited for the moonless night that would be their cover. He'd stayed in Kensi's bunk after Sam left, wide awake, trying not to let all the unimaginable scenarios play through his head.

His next fifty years, that's what he was preparing for. He needed to get his mind right, ready himself for success. He didn't need to think about the fact that she was out there all alone. Didn't want to imagine what she'd done to get herself captured, or how far she'd pushed protocol.

Hetty had her on a secret mission, that much he knew from Nell. If her pushing to get that mission done for Hetty had threatened her mission for Granger and that in turn had gotten her hurt, he'd never forgive Hetty.

The knock on the door came sooner than he expected. Callen, standing in the doorway, looking at him expectantly, no hint of the pity Sam had showed him earlier. It was all business now. He geared up and was waiting outside the convoy with the rest of the team but he made sure to stare at his feet.

Back in California, after an especially bad day, Nell had made him watch An American Tale with her. She'd joked and said he could learn a thing or two from that little mouse. He'd laughed and was game for the goofy, tipsy, sing along that followed and had honestly been cheered up. But Nell had been on to something bigger and knowing her, that was probably her plan in the first place. As he'd walked out of her apartment that night, he'd looked up at what few stars he could see above the lights of LA and was somewhat comforted that Kensi could see the same night sky before she went to bed at night.

But out here, there were so many stars and if he looked up, he'd think about her and missing her and all the night skies they may not get to see together. Eyes at his feet until he boarded the jeep, mind on the mission. It was time to get his partner back.


	14. It Don't Break Even

Inspired by the scene in The Raven and the Swan where Deeks jokes about bucket list and twins.:)

* * *

The whole team was out at the bar, celebrating solving their latest case. It had been long, drawn out, and emotionally taxing and each and every member of the Office of Special Projects elite team was ready for a break.

Kensi had perched herself on the edge of the side of the booth that Sam and Nell were sitting in, across from Eric and Callen. Deeks, who was currently at the bar getting the next round of drinks, had pulled up a chair. If this was eight months ago, Kensi would have just stolen Deeks' chair, getting up only to perch on his lap when he returned with drinks. Eight months ago, she'd have been brave, because by the third beer, eight months ago, she would have laughed at the team's raised eyebrows. But, eight months ago, they hadn't crossed the last line; eight months ago, she hadn't been on a secret sniper mission to Afghanistan. And most importantly, eight months ago, she hadn't told him to stop waiting, that it was pointless, that they had to choose between partners and lovers and she chose the former. Three months since she'd been back, two since she'd told him that all the patience in the world wouldn't be enough, that their frozen lake was already too cracked for passage, one month and twenty-nine days since she regretted every word.

And there he was at the bar, with two perky, petite blondes, in what Nell referred to at the 'Barbie uniform' of low-cut halter, micro-mini that left nothing to the imagination and skyscraper heels. They could be twins.

"Deeks did say that twins were on his bucket list." Callen raised his glass in Deeks direction as he caught his eye.

"Did I say that out loud?" Kensi whispered to Nell.

"Yeah...I have to use the ladies room. Kensi, care to join me?" Nell, hearing the vitriol tone in her friends voice, plotted a quick exit plan.

"Didn't really picture you too as the go-to-the-bathroom-in-pairs type of women." Sam teased good naturedly as Nell half-stood, scooting down the booth until she had pushed the still distracted Kensi to the floor.

"First time for everything." The petite woman grabbed her friend by the arm, moving her towards the bathroom. But ultimately Kensi was stronger, and as they passed by the section of the bar where Deeks still stood, she pulled her arm from Nell's grip and made her way to the bar.

Draping herself over Deeks in a way that clearly said, 'He's mine, back off!" She weaves her fingers into his hair and turned to face the two blondes, "Hello ladies, I hope that my Marty has been behaving himself, he can be such a flirt. I hope he wasn't leading you on."

Deeks caught Callen's eye, motioning him over to take care of the drinks as he took Kensi's arm and led her to the back hallway of the bar. Releasing her arm in a less-than-gentle fashion, he spun her to face him.

"What the hell was that?" As she opened her mouth to answer, he cut her off, "Because you don't get to do that anymore." He hissed through his teeth. "You gave up that right the only other time you have ever called me Marty. I have every right to flirt with those women. Hell, I have every right to take one, or both, of them home. And that wasn't my choice, Princess." What once had secretly been her favorite nickname was laced with such anger, she almost thought he hated her. "You made that decision all on your own."

Before she could close her now-gaping mouth, he had turned his heel to make him way back to the bar. It took a few minutes for her to compose herself and make it back to the group, only to discover that he had quickly grabbed his things and left. Making her excuses and not caring how obvious she was, she left as fast as she could.

Now here she was, standing in front of his door, willing herself to knock. Five minutes, it took her five minutes to work up the courage; the thirty seconds it took for him to open the door felt like a lifetime.

She'd had a whole speech planned, apologize for her behavior, beg to still be friends, but as he stood there, still angry in a white T-shirt and jeans with hair so messed up, he'd clearly been running his hands through it. It's what he does when he's stressed, she thought, but it always made him look so damn hot.

"Kens, if you aren't going to say anything, I need you to go home. I can't do this, it's hard enough at work..." She didn't say anything. Instead, she launched herself at him, kissing him with complete desperation. Lacing her hands through his hair, much like earlier tonight, but this time pulling their faces as close together as possible. Muscle memory and suppressed desire brought his hands and arms around her waist. She pushed them back into the apartment and up against the nearest wall.

Her lips left his mouth, exploring the length of his neck, sucking lightly, tongue flicking out at the points she knew from experience were sensitive. His wandering hands had untucked her shirt from her jeans and were tracing shapes on the bare skin of her back while his lips mirrored his partners.

Her hands wandered down from his face to the buckle of his belt and it was the sound of his fly unzipping that broke the spell.

"Kens...Kens, as much as I'll regret this in the morning, we need to stop." She didn't reply verbally, but the contact her lips kept with his ear lobe, tugging slowly.

"Woman, you are trying to kill me. Stop. Now." His voice shifted, no longer angry, but very serious he gently pushed on her shoulders. She stepped back, looking him in the eye.

"I really screwed this up, didn't I?" Sounding more than a lost little girl then he ever thought possible.

"Yeah, you did. You really did. And I'm mad. I'm so damn mad at you, Kens. You said that we'd try, that we'd talk about our thing. But you gave up after we barely got started and I want to stay angry. It's easier to stay angry." She started to slowly back away from him, back pedaling towards the door, preparing to run one last time, but his hand gently caught her wrist just before she was out of reach, "I think we can still fix it, but that's going to have to be your choice too."

"What do you mean?"

"If we," Pausing to clear his throat before proceeding "if we continue what you started when you attacked me at the door, there will be consequences. If you want this, it can't just be you staking your claim on me. 'Cause I'm crazy about you Kens, but I'm not crazy. And I can't keep doing this. So if we do this" waving two fingers in the air between them "tonight and you run again, I'm gone. Gone from NCIS, probably gone from LA. Walk away right now, we go back to being partners and I'll try not to pick up twins in your presence again. There's no in between anymore, no halfway. It's too damn hard and I can't, I won't, do it anymore."

He sat down, defeated, on the couch, fighting the urge to put his head between his knees, forcing himself to look her in the eye.

"You think that issuing me an ultimatum is the way to communicate."

"Seemed to get you what you wanted two months ago."

"Touché."

The faintest of smiles crept into the corners of his mouth and that's when she knew. Stepping closer to him, stepping between his knees, pushing them apart, delaying having to figure out what she was going to say. Every time she opened her mouth to speak, she seemed to say something she regretted. She preferred his form of communication anyway. Standing above him, both hands on either side of his face, it was now or never, and she didn't think she'd survive never.

He stayed perfectly still, this had to be her decision. She slowly, hesitantly closed the distance, their lips meeting, the passion that had been paused temporarily coming back full force. She straddled his hips, never breaking the kiss. He knotted one hand in her hair, tilting her head to allow him better access, the other working the buttons of her shirt.

She only broke the contact of their lips to pull his shirt over his head, kisses trailing down his throat, fingers tracing his now-bare chest. She paid special attention to every scar, kissing each reminder of how it was easy it would be to lose him, confronting her fears, the ones that screamed at her to flee, head on. After her ministrations, she stood, shirt agape, exposing a black lace bra. He took her in, like it was the first time, like he was still afraid it would be the last. Pushing the last vestiges of illogical doubt down one last time, she smiled and grabbed his hand, leading him to the back bedroom. The smile that had been teasing at the corner of his lips since her touché finally breaking out into a full on grin.

* * *

Laying sweaty and naked on top of his sheets several hours later, she continued to lightly trace the scars that bullets left over three years ago. He played absent-mindedly with her hair as it tickled his nose. For the first time in two months they felt like 'them' again.

"You sad that you're never going to check twins off your bucket list."

"What's to say I haven't already?" She smacked him lightly on the chest. "Ow. Kidding. You're more than enough for me, Kensalina. I don't need anyone else."

And for the first time, she could honestly say that it didn't scare her.


	15. Unpredictably Predictable

_Yeah, I did it, I wrote my theory about what's in the box?...characters aren't mine._

* * *

"You moved the box." Kensi noted to Deeks as they left the Mission after a rather mundane day of paperwork.

"Yeah…I took it down when Hetty said I couldn't go with Sam and Callen to Afghanistan." He admitted, scuffing his feet as they walked to her car, head bent down as if he was ashamed to admit a weakness.

"But you didn't open it?"

"No. And you know why Kens. Everything I ever wanted, the thing I wanted most in the world…wasn't in that box."

"But we never were taking about the box, were we?" Pausing at the passenger's side door as she made her way around the front of the car to the other side, a shy look in her eyes peeking out from behind the wisps of hair that had fallen out of her ponytail.

"Really? We're doing this again? No. It never was about the box."

"You want me to tell you what's in it?" Pulling out of her parking spot, she started on a familiar, but not too regular, route.

"Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose. Although, I'm not sure I remember the purpose to begin with."

"There's nothing in the box." Her eyes shifted briefly from the road to gauge his reaction.

"Spoiler alert! What? There's nothing in there? What if I had opened it? You gave it to me in front of other people, Kens…it's like you knew I wouldn't open it. You knew I wouldn't open it!"

She smiled, nodded, took a deep breathe before she started to speak. He'd been incredibly patient with her since her return from Afghanistan. She was ready for him to know this. More ready then she had been on the day she gave it to him, more ready then when he kissed her on that grassy hill and even more ready then when they'd left the French-inspired taco restaurant.

"There's nothing in the box, but that's not because I didn't know what you wanted most in the world. I knew it and you knew it. I also knew you wouldn't open that box until you felt like you deserved it. And since I'm certain that I'll never feel like I deserve you, I gave you the box to let you know I knew and that when you were ready, you'd open the box and we'd have this conversation and you'd know." She parked the car and turned off the engine, but made no move to make the trip up the stairs.

"Kens, we're home and I'm hungry and this is possibly the most confusing, convoluted conversation we've ever had about the box. And that's saying something…can we try to stop talking in metaphors? For once? You gave me an empty box because you knew I wouldn't open it?"

"Yes."

"And that I'd only open it when I felt like I deserved the thing I wanted most in the world?"

"Yes."

"Which you knew was…?"

"Me."

Blowing the breath he hadn't realized he was holding, he left hand moved to scratch his ear.

"And the box was supposed to let me know that you knew that you were everything I always wanted?"

"Yes."

"And that that was a desirable outcome for you as well?"

"Yes, the thing I wanted most in the world."

"And I was supposed to get that all from a box?" Deeks grabbed his computer bag from the back seat and opened the passenger door when he heard the uncharacteristically meek response from his partner.

"Yes."

"God, Kensalina, you never get to accuse me of sucking at communication again. Nostradamus couldn't have told you that would be the ending to this saga." Exiting the car, he made his way over to the driver's side and leaned into the window she had rolled down.

"Can I interest you in some tacos? I know this great place and we can order in." She smiled and exited the car herself, grabbing her go bag from the trunk before allowing Deeks to loop his free arm around her waist as the made their way towards his apartment. He kissed her head, pulling her closer to his side.

"Best birthday gift ever."


	16. Chapter 16

_Characters don't belong to me. Prompt credit to hermionesmydawg.  
_

* * *

"You ready, Velma? Seven miles today, you keep up, I treat to donuts." The blond detective was bouncing up and down, shifting from foot to foot as he waited for his redheaded companion to finish stretching.

"God, you are insanely perky in the morning. How did Kensi put up with this?" Switching her grip to her other foot, she brought her leg back, stretching her quad.

"I plied her with coffee and donuts." He said while wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Really? Really?" In a tone that was so like his, it spoke volumes to the level of closeness that had developed in this partnership over the last months.

"You asked." He shrugged and smiled.

"Let's go Shaggy."

**  
The pair took off running and she set the pace, faster then she'd been when they'd started this routine four months ago, but slow enough that she'd be able to hold a conversation. Yet, they ran in companionable silence for the first few miles. These runs had become cathartic to the both of them during Kensi's absence. Even after her return, the friends had continued their weekly informal therapy session. Sometimes they talked the whole run, and on others, the silent companionship and matching cadence was enough temporary healing to make it through to the next hurdle, the next task.

She knew his act by now, joking about the things that bothered him the most. So when he broke the silence with babbling about Kensi's favorite donut shop being right at the end of their route and hopefully they'd be able to use her frequent customer discount, Nell knew that he was dreading the next day.

"She's back tomorrow. You good with that?"

"Why wouldn't I be good?" With no elaboration, he picked up the pace just to the point he knew she'd be able to keep up, but too out of breathe to continue talking. Damn, that man was frustrating sometimes.

True to his word, though, donuts and coffee were his treat.

"A jelly for Nelly" he announced as he approached the outside cafe table that she had claimed when he went inside to buy breakfast. But that was it for the rest of the meal. Deeks' eyes focused on his coffee like it had the solution for how he was supposed to handle not just her coming back to work, but her isolating herself just like he had the previous summer.

Nell just observed, unsure of how to fix this. And she didn't like not being able to fix things. But she'd do the best she could as this shattered team tried to put their pieces back together.

As they both stood to head back to the car they'd parked ahead of time, Deeks was surprised when he found himself with an arm full of Nell Jones. On her tiptoes, squeezing her arms tightly around him, she whispered, "You stay strong for her; I'll be strong for you."

When the haze of surprise lifted, Nell was skipping towards the car.

"What do you say, old man, you got another couple miles in you?"

"Old man? Who you calling...?" His sentence trailing off as he was forced to chase his running buddy down the boardwalk.

He caught her and they fell back into their silent cadence. This thing with Kensi may take all of his focus and all of his energy, but that scared him a little less, knowing that he wasn't in it alone.


	17. Chapter 17

_Characters aren't mine, prompt credit goes to i-am-too-your-type._

* * *

"Amuse me."

"Excuse me?"

"Make me laugh."

"I am not your trained monkey."

"But I thought that was your job."

"No, my job is to have your back. In the field and sometimes out of it."

"But my butt is currently planted in a hospital bed and I'm bored. So dance, monkey, dance."

"I could have Callen and Sam come in, they're a regular comedy duo. They've been asking about you too."

"No, I want you."

"Now that's just the morphine talking." He had watched the nurse up the dose immediately prior to her request for entertainment.

"Nope. I choose you. All the time. I like being your other half."

"Yup, morphine has really kicked in now. Undercover operation's over, Princess. We are officially fake divorced as of 5 pm yesterday, when you got shot in the arm taking out the baddies."

"Don't wanna."

"Don't want to what?"

"Divorce. Wanna stay married." Her voice trailed off as the sedative took effect, her eyes glazed and unfocused.

"And I think that's my cue." Waving at Callen and Sam to come in. "Besides, your own personal Abbott and Costello are here."

"She'd like to be amused." He told his two coworkers as he stood to stretch his legs, he'd been in the hospital chair all night after all. "She also wants to stay married to me, which is perfectly valid. Her admitting it in public has me a little suspect."

"Yup, her judgement's completely compromised."

"Laugh it up Sam, but I wouldn't waste your one chance to make Kensi Blye believe you're a world-class comedian.

As he exited the room to try and find some decent coffee, he heard Kensi's drug-enduced excitement ring through the halls.

"Deeks! Are these my dancing monkeys?"

"That's my girl." He chuckled to himself smiling.


	18. Unlove Me

Thank you everyone for the wonderful response I got for "It Don't Break Even (Chapter 14 of Water From the Moon collection). This is the prequel to that chapter. Characters still don't belong to me.

* * *

_You put me through hell, cause loving you was a war. -Jamestown Story_

* * *

It never rains in California. Bullshit. Pushing a sopping wet piece of hair out of her eyes, her feet hitting the pavement, splashing through the puddles that had started to form, she charged forward on her run. She should have turned around when the rain started, she would have gotten back to his apartment in time to share a cup of coffee and probably a homemade breakfast too, the rain keeping him off the ocean this morning. But instead she had continued and the mist had turned to drizzle which had turned into into the downpour. She just couldn't stop running.

The last month had been difficult to say the least. But it was more than the trauma and the lasting effects of Afghanistan. It was Deeks and everything he was doing right. Backing off when she needed space, a shoulder to cry on the few times she needed release and a happy participant in the newly acquired physical aspect of their relationship, both when she needed to remember what she fought to come back to and when she wanted to forget all she'd sacrificed. She should be overjoyed at the progress they'd made with their thing, but all she had was the overpowering urge to run and that urge was becoming stronger every day.

He was gone when she got back to the apartment, a note on the table, coffee in a travel mug and pop tarts in the toaster. He'd see her at work, hoped she had a good run. God, could he just stop being perfect. She didn't deserve it; she couldn't handle it. She was going to do something to screw this up and lose not just what he'd become, but all he'd ever been. And she knew she'd never survive that.

Discarding her wet clothes haphazardly throughout the living room, she stepped into the shower, trying futilely to wash her anxieties away with the scalding hot water. Her mind made up, she gathered all her running clothes and a few other things she had scattered throughout his place over the past month and threw them into her go bag.

* * *

He found himself alone with her in the gym, a determined look on her face. This month, with all it's heartache, had still been too good to be true. She'd allowed him into every crevasse of her life. She'd allowed him to see her weak as well as strong. And now, now she was scared, ashamed that she'd allowed herself this support. The walls were going back up and pretty soon, there'd be no room for him inside them. And she'd push him out. He just didn't think it was going to be today.

"Marty..."

"You never call me Marty...must be bad news. Hetty give you an 'Oh-dear-god note to pass on? Am I getting fired?" He deferred the inevitable as long as he could.

"Marty. You are my best friend. You know that, right? And you are the best partner I've ever had and I want more, but I can't risk it. I can't risk our friendship and our partnership."

"Most people would say its too late for that, Kens. I'm keeping my promise. We'll work through whatever's going on in your head together. Please don't make my mistake." The space between them was no more than a foot, but it felt like a chasm, neither one reaching out as their future crumbled around them.

"There's not enough patience in the world. And it's not fair to ask that of you. Our frozen lake is cracked beyond repair, we can't cross it."

"I'll wait Kens, as long as you need."

"You'll be waiting forever." Her voice cracking as she turned and ran from the room.

* * *

The next day, they arrived at work separately, their conversation just a bit stilted. They functioned in the field just as they always had, on the surface, back to partners, still friends. But her walls were built back up from the fractured pieces where he had once torn them down. And he, well, he had simply commenced waiting forever.

* * *

_"Unlove me, but do it slow, so I don't have to lose you all at one time." -Julie Roberts _


	19. Chapter 19

_No change since the last time, characters still don't belong to me. For detective-deeks: Kensi and Deeks discuss their first kisses._

* * *

Kensi entered the bullpen with two specialty coffees held aloft high above her head, doing a little dance to the music in her head. Callen eyed the beverages cautiously.

"Who are those for Kens?"

"Oh, just anyone who's been partners for five years exactly. No more, no less."

"Well, that would be no one then." Sam contributed "Since you and I long ago reached that point and Fric and Frac," he tilted his head towards the entering Deeks, "here only started being partners in October and thus have six more months."

"Oh contraire mon fraire," Deeks said, grabbing his latte out of Kensi's hands. "Jason and Tracy started working together in April. First case together starts the clock. Hence, five year anniversary." Placing a chaste kiss on his partner's cheek (something the team had been fairly accustomed to over the past year) as he made his way to his desk.

"I think that's faulty logic, but I'll let it slide. You've been putting in nearly a year of double time Kensi, that's more than enough to make up the time gap." Callen joke.

"Hey! I feel slightly insulted by that."

"Well, you're slightly insulting, Deeks." Sam joked, clapping him on the back when they all heard Eric's shrill whistle.

"So with our faulty logic, how many more years until I deserve your hand in marriage?" Kensi whispered to Deeks as they made their way up the stairs.

"Well, that logic would imply I start counting from our first kiss, so...seven years next month."

"Seven? It's only been two years since..."

"Siderov, Kens, you can say his name. And that's not where I start counting. I start with Melissa and Justin."

"That was a cover kiss." She hissed as the sliding doors to ops opened in front of them.

"Only a cover kiss if its necessary, and that totally wasn't, Sugar, you wanted me. Besides, there's really no point in counting, no way I'm waiting anywhere close to seven years."

She smiled as she walked in front of him, unable to resist the urge to correct him. "Eight."


	20. Chapter 20

_Characters still aren't mine. Prompt request: "Nallen" for lewie45_

* * *

While it was required for one to be at least a little tipsy when performing karaoke with one's coworkers, the pounding in her head indicated to Nell that she had perhaps taken it too far.

When she finally opened her eyes to a unfamiliar room and saw herself wrapped in unfamiliar sheets, she was convinced she'd had way too much to drink. When she saw the glass of water and two aspirin on the night stand, the only other piece of furniture besides the bed, the memories started coming back to her in a haze. She sat up in bed pulling the sheets up to her neck, thankful that her companion was temporarily out of the room. Gulping down the water, she closed her eyes and remembered the previous night.

The team had decided to go to the bar to commemorate a long, difficult case. She blamed Eric entirely. He was the one who suggested the bar; he was the one who knew it was karaoke night there. Deeks and Kensi hadn't been any help, buying rounds and entertaining everyone with their stirring, if slightly off pitch rendition of 'I Got You Babe."

But this wasn't Eric's apartment, and she was positive Deeks had left with a Kensi draped all over him. Squeezing her eyes tighter, more of the end of the night came flooding back to her.

'Horse with No Name.' Why had she picked that song? Why had she insisted Callen sing it with her? He got really sad at the end of the song. That was probably why Callen didn't get that drunk all that often. It was too hard to hide the pain, to control his emotions.

But neither of them had been controlling anything the previous night. She'd grabbed him by the hand and pulled him off stage and into a back hallway of the bar. She'd been the one to push him against the wall, kissing him hard and long enough to make any normal man forget anything. But it was him who'd hailed them a cab when they snuck out the back door.

It was an unspoken agreement that brought them back to the room she was in now. Limbs entangled, in a release of a chemistry that had always simmered underneath the surface, they'd tripped their way through the house, leaving jackets, shoes, belts like a trail of breadcrumbs between the door and bedroom.

When she opened her eyes at that last memory, there he was, standing shyly in his own bedroom door, two cups of coffee in hand. She rewarded him with a small smile, wrapping the sheet around herself, she went to claim her cup of coffee. Thanking him with a kiss on the cheek, she leaned against the other side of the doorframe and sipped her coffee, contemplating what to do with the rest of the day.


	21. Chapter 21

_Characters don't belong to me. Prompts: "Noooo, don't goooo." From hermionesmydawg and an anon prompt for Deeks/Sam/Callsn chillin' :). _

* * *

"Mommy! No go!" A mop of blond curls only partially hid the giant, tear-filled brown eyes as the little girl clung to her leg.

After trying to walk a couple of steps with her new toddler-sized tumor, she bent down and gently pried her daughter's arms from her calf.

"Penny. I need you to be a big girl for daddy. I'm only going to be gone for a week. That's seven good night moons. Remember sweetie? We talked about this. It's mommy's job."

Deeks scooped up his daughter and Kensi also stood back up. But none of her words matter, all her little girl knew was that mommy was leaving. Kensi kissed her head, her soft curls still smelled like baby shampoo and gave her husband a quick peck on the lips, before turning on her heels and walking towards the plane. As she heard her baby girl wailing in the background in her father's arms, Kensi couldn't help but think this trip to Afghanistan would be even harder than the last one.

* * *

A couple of days later...

"Clippers game Deeks. No excuses."

"No buts, Kensi's with Granger in Afghanistan."

"Exactly. I'm busy having flashbacks to the first time she and Granger decided to vacation there. Besides, it's impossible to find a babysitter on this short of notice."

"Michelle has been angling to get to spend time with Penny. She'd love to take the little munchkin."

"More power to her, the terrible twos hadn't been defined until they met Penelope Marie Deeks. "

"Every parent says that."

"And how would you know that, G?"

"Fair point. But she is Kensi Blye's daughter; no one is surprised."

"So, it's settled," Sam announced, hanging up his phone. Three floor seats, center court, 7 pm. Bring Penny by anytime after 5:30 and we'll catch dinner near the stadium before hand. Michelle and the girls are excited to have a baby in the house for a night."

"Glad someone's excited. I'm not cut out for single parenthood. Kensi cannot get back soon enough. I really should use the opportunity to sleep, not to go see the..."

"Clippers!" Callen shouted as he shot a paperback and the recycling bin hoop. "Nothing but net!"

* * *

"Traveling! How did you not see that?" Callen shouted, some of his peanuts spilling on to the floor.

As the players flew down the court past the trio, the whistle blew, sending the Clippers' player to the foul line.

"That's what I'm talking about!" Deeks high-fived Callen.

"That's what I'm talking about!"

"What are we talking about?" Sam asked as he returned to his seat with three beers in hand.

"Refs finally called a foul."

"'Bout time."

The three men raised their beers saluting the players as they ran by. Sitting back in their seats, Deeks regaled Sam with details of the dunk he missed when he was getting the beers.

* * *

At the end of the evening Deeks gathered the sleeping toddler into his arms and Sam ushered two half awake preteens towards their room.

"See you at work tomorrow, Sam. Thanks for tonight, Michelle."

"Anytime Deeks." Sam patted him lightly on the back "She'll be back soon."


	22. Chapter 22

_Characters not mine, spoilers for 5X16 (Fish Out of Water)_

_"Last night he said she was the one. But men and mascara always run." -Julie Roberts_

Brushing past Granger as quickly as she could, she made her way to the showers. Stripping her layers of field gear off as quickly as she could, cranking the water as hot as it would go. She'd catch hell for draining the tank, but the only thing that mattered right now was washing this feeling off. She stepped in the stall, allowing the steady stream to scald her skin red for a minute before turning the knob to cool the water slightly. Turning so her face was directly under the shower head, she pushed her hair back and tried to take deep, calming breaths. But she couldn't stop her hands from shaking. The trembling soon spread through her entire body. She tried to busy her hands, rid herself of whatever she was feeling by frantically scrubbing with the rag. But there was no washing this off, no making this disappear. As the water went from warm to cool to frigid she stood there, willing herself to forget the last time she'd seen him.

* * *

Prancing around their small apartment in a Santa hat, Kensi made a show of putting presents under the tree. Today had been a good day. Jack had been in good spirits, nothing had startled him or set him off and he seemed more like his old self, the marine she'd fallen in love with as a college junior. Presents all set up, she brought two cups of hot cocoa, one piled high with marshmallows and snuggled up to his side. They'd watched a Christmas movie, had a popcorn fight, been, to anyone looking in, the picture of a couple in love. So when she woke up in morning, the empty spot beside her hadn't worried her. She skipped into the kitchen like a kid on, well, Christmas morning. It wasn't til she saw that his boots weren't at the door, wasn't until she'd screamed his name out the door and onto the street below, not until she threw open his drawers to find them empty that it hit her. He was gone. She'd just sat on the bed for hours wondering when she'd see him again until she'd finally stood up, put the presents in the back of the closet and got on with her life.

* * *

And it had been years, years of wondering where he'd been and who he'd become. But she could never have imagined this. It was only the shrill sound of her satellite phone that forced her from her thoughts. Drying off, she picked up the phone, noting the missed called. Jack had taught what it was to be left behind and even if it hurt, she'd never let herself be put in that position again. Gearing back up, game face on, she picked the phone back up, finger hovering over the redial button for a second before shutting the phone off completely. She hadn't needed anyone nine years ago; she couldn't let herself need anyone now.


	23. Chapter 23

_Characters aren't mine. Prompt from hermionesmydawg: "Innocence." Nell/Deeks pairing_

* * *

"_This is the end of the innocence." -Don Henley_

He slowed the Cadillac, parking down the street from the address Eric had given them earlier. Shutting off the engine, he looked over to the petite redhead sitting next to him.

"You good? By the time we clear the perimeter, Sam and Callen will be here to breach the interior of the house."

"Good. We got this." She said while opening the passenger door.

"Then gear up Velma. Time for your first tactile raid."

Vests on, rifles on their backs, side arms in thigh holsters, they slowly made their way towards the house. They'd spent the last three days tracking cartel links to this address.

As they approached the house's perimeter, Deeks silently motioned for Nell to enter first, rifles aimed at the areas around them. Efficiently clearing the front yard, they made their way along the side of the house to the back. The yard itself was empty as they made their way to the shed.

A nod to acknowledge that she understood his silent command, Deeks kicked down the door of the shed and she moved to enter first and then she stopped in her tracks.

Her rifle fell to her side as her hand went to her mouth and she backpedaled into Deeks, who was able to see over his much shorter partner's head exactly what had caused the visceral reaction.

He'd seen what the cartel could and would do. They'd been a presence in LA for many years. But you never got used to finding one of their slaughter houses. Even working the beheading case last year from  
Ops would never have prepared Nell for the site of that shed.

He gave her a few seconds as she ran towards the bushes, trying to get her involuntary retching under control.

He came up behind her pulling the few stray hairs that had escaped her ponytail away from her face as she heaved one last time.

She stood up quickly, frantically gathering her wits.

"You good partner? You with me?" He grabbed her shoulders making her look him in the eye. The hazel staring back at his blue weren't the same ones he'd seen hundreds of times before. The laughing, plucky spark that was always underneath her potential, her ambition was missing. But she was strong, gathering herself quickly, smoothing her hair down, squaring her shoulders.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm good. We need to secure the house, make sure that..."

"Nell, slow down. We'll wait for G and Sam to get here. It's easier to clear with four people. We've secured the perimeter, we need to get out of the open."

No sooner than the words were out of his mouth then he heard the shot and saw Nell crumple before him. Pure training and instinct kicked in and he pulled Nell to a more sheltered spot on the side of the house, trying to find the wound.

An armor-piercing bullet had torn through the vest on her left side and immediately put pressure on the wound.

"You got to stay with me Nell. Stay with me. I've got an agent down!" He shouted into the ear piece. "Agent down! Need immediate back up and medical assistance. C'mon Nell, stay with me. Keep your eyes open. Stay with me!"


	24. Chapter 24

_Characters still aren't mine. Conclusion of Chapter 23. Prompt from hermionesmydawg:"Blood"_

* * *

_"Blood is thicker than water, but love is thicker than blood." -Garth Brooks_

Head bent, shoulders hunched, he didn't notice the coolness of the cement as he sat on the curb as the ambulance pulled away. Staring at his hands, at the blood that wasn't his, he didn't hear Sam lower himself to sit by his side. It wasn't until Sam squeezed his shoulder and said his name that he even looked up.

"Deeks. You did everything you could. No one's blaming you."

"They should be. It was my job to protect her. I was the senior agent. I made that call to go into that yard."

"You had no way of knowing. Everything you did was by the book."

"And look where the damn book got us. She didn't even see it coming. Hell, Sam, I didn't see the shooter. And there was so much blood and she just looked so pale." Pushing his hair back, not caring that the blond curls were now streaked with red, he looked Sam in the eye. "She just looked..." He couldn't finish the thought and buried his head back in his hands.

"Has Kensi ever told you about the time she got shot?"

"No." Normally Deeks would have made a joke about seeing the scar, but not now. Not when Nell was...

"She was in her first year with NCIS. She and I were patrolling a warehouse while G tried to charm his way in with a receptionist across town. We'd cleared the perimeter when I sent her around the back to keep watch. I'd seen one guard out front and I went to take him out when I heard the shot. By the time I got to Kensi, the guy was gone and her leg was just gushing blood. Could have sworn it nicked an artery. Blamed myself for a really long time for that one."

"I'm sure Kensi set the record straight on that one."

"First chance she got. Still lying in her hospital bed, she put me in my place. And Nell's going to do the same to you as soon as she wakes up. This is not your fault man."

Deeks stood up, brushing dirt off the front of his jeans, but only succeeding in getting blood on another piece of clothing.

"You ever stop feeling like it's your job to protect them?"

"No. Not from bullets, not from knives and not from blond hippie surfers." Sam joked as he pulled Deeks into a side hug as they walked toward the car. "C'mon, I'll drive you to the hospital. Just, don't touch anything, ok?"

"You got it. Thanks man."


	25. Chapter 25

_Characters don't belong to me. Story based on spoilers and speculation for the Spoils f War episode. Prompt credit: ncis-los-angeles over on tumblr._

* * *

The sight of her in that chair, slumped over, barely aware of anything going on around her felt like a punch in the gut. The cut above her lighter eye still slowly dripping blood down her cheek made him grind his teeth together so hard he probably messed up all his new dental work. But he managed to keep it together at first. Sam, Callen and Ganger were right behind him and as soon as they arrived, he made a beeline for the chair, untying her hands, feet and finally the gag in her mouth.

As his three teammates went further into the depths of the cave to see how far the network went, he stayed with his partner. Before she could even speak, it was the widening of her eyes that alerted him that someone else had entered the cave. Turning slowly, he came face to face with the limit of his control.

The man standing at the entrance to the cave, Caucasian, dark hair and beard could only be the White Ghost, could only be Jack Simon. Hetty had briefed them before they had boarded the military transport that brought them here. Deeks was not to take a combative role in the mission, his sole task to get his partner out and start the healing process. 'She'll be needing a friend.' Hetty had told him.

His hand went to the knife at his hip as he slowly approached the man in the door. It was the chuckling, the utter smugness he conveyed, as Kensi struggled to stand behind him, that severed something at his core. He'd heard the term 'seeing red' before, but only truly understood its meaning in this moment. He'd been angry at Scarli three and a half years ago, but he wanted this man dead.

Punches thrown on both sides, rolling on the floor of the cave, Deeks gained the upper hand and had the knife that hadn't left his hip for the last four months at the other man's throat.

"Deeks. Don't, please." Her voice hoarse and weak, like she hadn't used it or had water in days, but it was enough. It snapped him out of his rage, slowly becoming aware of his surroundings beyond the all encompassing desire to kill the man he had pinned to the ground. When had Sam come back?

"Get her out of here, Deeks. We can handle this."

Standing slowly, brushing the dust off, slowly exhaling, he gently picked up his partner. Glancing back once as he exited the cave, shifting her weight in his arms, a single tear slipped down his cheek, for her, yes, but also for himself, the piece he'd left in that cave, the little eleven-year old boy who swore he'd never be like his father.


	26. Chapter 26

_Characters don't belong to me, prompt credit kensideeks "I can't"_

* * *

He grumbled as the ringing of the phone woke him from a particularly good dream. The star of that dream managed to stay sleeping beside him as he untangled himself enough to reach over her to grab the offending, noisy object off the nightstand. The only evidence that she'd been disturbed by the noise and commotion at all, a cute grumble as she buried her head deeper into his chest.

Kissing her head lightly he swiped the phone to answer.

"Deeks." He whispered as quietly as he could. He'd probably wake her over the course of the conversation, but moving to take the call outside the room was certainly going to, so he took his chances staying in bed.

There was a slightly longer than normal pause on the other end of the line before the caller spoke.

"Deeks. Need you and Blye at the boathouse in thirty minutes."

"Granger? It's like 630 on a Saturday morning." Her head shot up at the sound of their boss'name, nearly hitting him in the chin as she silently mouthed sorry, frantically looking for her phone, expecting to get a similar call at any moment.

"That it is, Detective, that it is. Thirty minutes, we have a case. And once that's wrapped, you, Blye, Hetty and I will be having a little chat."

"Sir? It's really not fair to play these kind of mind games with someone who just woke up. Did we do something wrong?" He caught Kensi's eye as she searched his bedroom now frantically looking for her phone. They realized the mistake at the exact same time, eyes going wide. "I'm sorry, sir, Assistant Director Granger, we'll be there in thirty." And with that he hung up, and set the phone on his nightstand, right next to its identical counterpart.

"Please tell me that you didn't just answer my cellphone and talk to our boss."

Puppy dog eyes on in full force, he shrugged his shoulders in his accepted defeat. "I can't."


	27. Chapter 27

_Continuation of Chapters 23 and 24. Characters don't belong to me_.

* * *

When Deeks and Sam arrived at the hospital they found Callen hunched over in the waiting room chairs.

"Any word?" Deeks asked frantically as Callen stood.

"She's in surgery. Vitals were holding strong. It's going to be a couple of hours, but the doctors seemed hopeful." Callen, on the other hand, seemed unconvinced.

Deeks took a seat next to Callen while Sam went to find some semi-palatable coffee. The two men sat in silence for a few minutes before Callen began to speak.

"You should go home and change. I think you're scaring all the little kids in here. You look straight out of a slasher flick."

"Clothes are already ruined. I'll go home as soon as I know she's ok."

"Not your fault, Deeks."

"I already got the big brother lecture from Sam, so you don't have to. I got Nell hurt, we'll all move on, deal with it, learn from it."

"A bullet from a cartel henchmen got Nell hurt, and my team, my call, so take your pity party elsewhere." Callen's tone shifted from logical to almost angry as he attempted to shoulder any blame himself.

"Whoa, you ok man? If I can't take blame, neither can you. Deal?"

Before they could shake on it, Sam returned with three coffees and the men returned to waiting in silence.


	28. Chapter 28

"_Dying" (Took prompt literally, so consider this the warning :)). Characters aren't min_e.

* * *

"_This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang, but a whimper." T.S. Eliot_

She'd always thought they'd go down in a blaze of glory. Losing him in the field had been the worst nightmare of her youth. She'd asked him to promise not to die and spent years delaying their happiness because of that fear.

But in the end, she'd had no need for that fear. He'd been patient, been persistent and led her by the hand into their home, their family, their life. And it had been a good life, a long life, a full life.

Still, she sat in this sterile room, stroking his hand, which had long ago weathered with age, as he slept, wishing for a do-over on those early years. For someone to go back and tell that woman that she had no idea what real fear was.

If someone told her it'd be far worse to lose him slowly then all at once, she would have laughed at them. She would've had said 'you can prepare for slow.' And he'd still be there to lead her, showing her how she was supposed to cope, comforting her even as he was dying.

But she'd never know how to look into those blue eyes, slightly clouded with time, and see no recognition, no love returned. And the day was coming soon where he'd be gone completely, no more good days left. He'd still be here, but she'd cease to be Fern; she'd be just another face that visited him in the home. She'd never been so afraid of anything in her life and for the first time in forty years, he wasn't there to take her by the hand and lead her to the other side.


	29. Chapter 29

_Prompt: "Sorrow" (Companion piece to Chapter 28). Characters, wish as I may, still don't belong to me._

* * *

11 years old, shot my dad.

19 years old, Mom dies.

31 years old, partner murdered, mentor betrays me.

34 years old, tortured.

34 years old, love of my life says I'm the thing she wants most in the world, and that it's destroying her.

35 years old, watching her in that chair.

35 years old, her leaving me again.

38 years old, the two no's that came before the yes.

55 years old, my daughter's first broken heart.

75 years old, It's Alzheimer's.

In my lucid moments, I like to list moments in life. Those that remain with crystal clear detail. In a life filled with joy, albeit, a bit backloaded, it is the moments of sadness, the moments that threatened to crush me that often come through the clearest. And it's always the last one that makes me the saddest.

I've spent the last 40 years of my life with the most amazing woman on the planet, my real life superwoman. But I'm not blind, she had her flaws. She's always been too cautious about her own happiness. And I've been happy to take her hand and lead her, tugging a little if necessary, into the life she, we, deserve. I just always felt lucky that she let me hold that hand.

But I can't lead her through this. And that's killing me; it's the saddest of sad things on my lucid memory list. I can't help her through this because I'm not me half the time, and that ratio's only going to get worse.

The sad lists should probably stop. They only serve to make me angry. If I leave her with the happy lists, the moments of pure joy, maybe that'll be enough to pull her through...

31 years old, meet Tracy, Fern, Kensi.


	30. Chapter 30

Characters aren't mine. Prompt - "Hold My Hand"

* * *

The first time he'd really held her hands, he pulled her out of her laser prison. He'd been holding her hand, metaphorically and physically ever since, pulling her out, pulling her up.

And maybe she'd pulled him along a little as well. In the last year, she'd held his hand as he lay on a gurney, trying to provide him some sense of calm, of comfort. She taken his hand, pulling him across his own threshold, communicating without words.

Now he was back to taking her hand. He'd held her hand on the helicopter ride out of Afghanistan as she slipped in and out of consciousness and in the hospital room afterwards. He'd held her hand through the nightmares. And now, he laced his fingers through hers as they entered the mission together for the first time since her return.

And despite knowing that this is what she wanted, even needed, it was all she could do not to rip her hand free. It was a good thing he'd always had a firm grip.


	31. Chapter 31

_Characters aren't mine. Anonymous prompt - "Mother"_

* * *

Mother's Day had never been a holiday either of them celebrated. Before the age of eleven, doing something nice for his mom was always a 'waste of money' and would certainly get him yelled at and probably hit. A whole day honoring her was certainly off the tables. After, well, it's not Iike she would have known and all his foster moms, while nice in their own right, had never insisted he celebrate the day, although most offered to take him to the long term care facility. After he turned eighteen he was always working, pushing to afford the next milestone, the next check list and the day just passed by unnoticed. He knew that she had celebrated it when she was a little girl. It had been another way to bond with her dad, making the 'surprise' breakfast in bed, more elaborate each year. And then she left them and she'd spend that Sunday, burrowed in the sheets, willing the day away. Even after their reconnection, Kensi and Julia never really got close enough to make a big deal about the day.

But this year was different. It was still sinking in just how different. It was only last week that they'd shared their news with the world and she still wasn't showing, but she was a mom and she deserved pampering on this day.

So he smoothed her hair, gently waking her.

"Is that coffee?" She mumbled into her pillow.

"Today only, special treat. I also have your favorite breakfast ready."

"Donuts?" One eye peaking out from the pillow.

"Yup. All you have to do is sit up." She obliged, pushing down the covers and pushing herself up into a sitting position.

Putting the tray across her lap and handing her the paper towel napkin with a flourish, he kissed her on the cheek and whispered in her ear, "Happy Mother's Day."


	32. Chapter 32

One word prompts -"Sacrifice" Characters still aren't mine.

* * *

They'd told Jenna Parish over a year ago that this job required sacrifice. The sacrifice of a personal life, of anything and everything outside of the job was something they understood coming in. But little had either of them known sitting on that living room couch exactly how much they would be asked to give up for the greater good.

They'd both proudly shoulder the burden of physical pain. They'd bear the acquired demons, sometimes with grace, too often alone. But only if it was for the greater good, and he just couldn't see the greater good in this.

They spent the months since her return proving to themselves that they could do this, have their thing, and still be partners. And he'd thought they'd been successful, but then came the ultimatum. And it came out of nowhere. He would have expected it out of Granger, even expected it from Kensi in a moment of weakness and fear, but not from Hetty. Not from the woman he could have sworn had been slowly pushing them together for the last four years.

As he packed up his stuff, white box sitting on one hip, he took her hand to leave the mission one last time. He'd go back to LAPD for now, but maybe he was done sacrificing all together. He wasn't sure and he'd take it one day at a time. One thing was for sure though, he had found the one thing in his life he wasn't willing to sacrifice any longer and he wasn't willing to let her go.


End file.
